I mean, you meet most of the job requirements...but your years of experience in maturity is still sitting at zero. Why not wear it on your sleeve with this elevated pedestal "coffee" mug from Brass Monkey. It's oozing with vintage charm, and perfect for whatever beverage helps get you through the day. Bonus: each mug comes in a giftable box, ready to be presented to your favorite person (yourself is a valid option).